Broken Connection?

Something happened in the past and it wasn't pleasant. Heavy words were exchanged, a friendship broke up, and we lost contact with people we are now missing. Broken connections are a tragic fact of our fast-moving life. But whatever the reason for the breakup, these connections can be repaired. Maybe not all of them, but we should notresign; we should give it a try. Don't forget that time is a healer. And modern technology makes it easier than ever for us to reconnect.

“Keep your friendships in repair.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”- Richard Bach

A friendly e-mail that communicates that you would like to reconnect is just one idea. Or you could send an unexpected birthday card to the other party. Or depending on the situation, you could even make a phone call addressing the issue in positive, conciliatory words, or use friends in common to convey a message. I am sure you can think of many other ways, once you've made the decision to try. But what if it doesn't work? Then you can pat yourself on the back and be proud that you tried. And then just let go.

Wouldn't it be nice to reconnect with someone? Have the courage to try.

Something to share:

As illustrated in the Chinese Proverb: 海内存知已，天涯若比邻 (hai nei cun zhi ji, tianya ruo bi lin). The world is but a little place, after all.

A broke up 友情(you qing) friendship does not mean that your friend had become your enemy and that the friendship between you and him or her had been totally ruined. Whatever reasons that caused the break up; don’t you think it’s time to forgive and forget and to reconcile the broken relationship?

You may feel that it’s easier to forgive than to forget. You may be ready to forgive someone who had hurt you deeply, but somehow you still have a hard time trusting that person again. Why? What if that someone is having the same feeling as yours?

Make an attempt to meet up and reconnect again. Make up your mind to forgive and forget. Let be friends again. The world is but a little place, after all.

The Friend We Want To Be - Evaluating Our Relationships

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

Something to share:

Friendship is very valuable for “he who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.” It’s true that at time we have to evaluate our relationships with our friends. We should make every effort to maintain friendship instead of breaking relationship with friends due to misunderstanding, disagreement or conflict. We have to learn how to value and restore the relationship with friends.

Be frank when we come to evaluating/restoring relationship with friends. Never talk bad or point finger from the back. Be open and transparent. As friends, we must learn to get along with one another. Any disagreement, conflict and misunderstanding among friends will have to be resolved in order to maintain the valuable friendship.

It’s better for you to take the initiative step and make the first move if you want a heart-to-heart talk with any friend, whether you feel being let down or you have let your friend down. Go to the friend the sooner the better and make things right in a face–to–face meeting. Any delay is undesirable as it may deepen the misunderstanding and sour the relationship further. Of course the meeting should be well timed and at the right place to meet. How to talk is as important as what to say. The right approach by you and your friend will build up a better supportive friendship in the end.

THE BETTER WAY TO UNDERSTAND SOMEONE IS TO SHARE THE SAME VIEW !

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WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Former prisoner James Knapp confessed to police that he'd robbed two stores in Oklahoma (USA), because he missed his old cell mates. Police said they'd see if James could be reunited with his buddies.

But I think Mr. Knapp might have said something worth listening to. We need friends, no matter where we find them.

And do you know who your best friend is? Automaker Henry Ford was having lunch with a man, when he suddenly asked the man that very question. "Who is your best friend?" Ford asked.

The man hesitated and Ford went on. "I'll tell you who your best friend is," he said. Then he wrote this sentence for the man to read: "Your best friend is he who brings out the best that is within you." Our best friends are those who do more than simply like us. They also believe in us. They support us but, occasionally, they nudge us as well.

Someone put it well: "A friend is someone who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become, and still, and gently invites you to grow."

Now...who is your best friend?

Something to share:

In life, we have had many childhood friends as we went through schooling in primary and secondary schools. But as we grew up, many of us had left our hometowns to attend higher education in other big towns or cities or even went abroad to study overseas. Others had gone to seek employment else where. Later we could have settled down in other places and have our families there. Some could have migrated overseas to other countries. Thus as time went by, we might have lost contact with most of them. But if we are still keeping in touch with few of them, we can consider them as our lifelong friends.

For those who were fortunate to have the opportunity furthering their studies, they also made friends in colleges and universities. Then they met new acquaintances in their workplaces, in club houses and places they used to hang around after work. They also have neighbours in where they stay. They happened to know some of them if not all and whenever they met they said “hello” to each other or just waved hand to show their friendliness but they did not have close relationship. Over a period, somehow there bond to be few of them who later became friends once relationship had been established gradually and eventually. They will most likely meet up everyday in kopitiam (their favourite coffee shop) and keep talking on all sorts of topics especially the current affairs in town and in the country.

Nevertheless, no matter where we are, we do need friends although only a limited number of them with whom we can have and maintain a close and intimate friendship. These are the friends who have the same interests, hobbies and philosophy like ours. We have the same kind of character, same direction, same dream and same goal. Thus we are able to communicate and to understand each other very well that we share joys and sorrows together. We will encourage, motivate and support each other in time of need. Obviously, we have become buddies.

Yes. I do agree that “a best friend is the one who brings out the best that is within you”. Remember, a best friend is also a true friend. Someone says,"A true friend is one who holds your hand and thus touches your heart.” When you hear “I’ll be there for you” from a friend, he is, undoubtedly, your true friend and your best friend!.

WORDS

Emily and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."

On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."

Emily answered,” You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

When we always forget mutual respect and courtesy, we may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. Frequently exchanging teasing remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

Something to share…

Words can heal and words can hurt. Using the right words improves good relationship. On the other hand, using the wrong words hurts the other person’s feeling and as a result the relationship sours. It becomes worst if the other person is having a “kiasu” attitude. When he or she does not want to be teased, it is a natural response that he or she will give it back to you, very badly.

A Chinese saying puts it this way, “病從口入, 楇從口出 Sickness enters into our mouths, and trouble comes out from our mouths.” When we have eaten unclean foods, we fall sick and may get food poisoning. When we have spoken unclean words, we get into big troubles.

If we speak bad words that hurt, obviously these words of lies, gossip, rumor and carry tales will damage our relationship with other people. On the other hands, if we speak good words that heal, surely these words of encouragement and motivation will improve our relationship with other people.

When married couples always speak words of care and concern, words of understanding and appreciation, words of kindness and love, they will eventually enjoy more and more of their companionship and live on much happier together.

How true it is that “a good word makes it glad” as written in Proverbs 12:25 and ”pleasant words are like a honeycomb; sweetness to the soul and health to the bones” in Proverbs 16:24.