Actively Participating Showing Up For Life

The way we walk into a room says a lot about the way we live our lives. When we walk into a room curious about what's happening, willing to engage, and perceiving ourselves as an active participant with something to offer, then we have really shown up to the party. When we walk into a room with our eyes down, or nervously smiling, we are holding ourselves back for one reason or another. We may be hurting inside and in need of healing, or we may lack the confidence required to really be present in the room. Still, just noticing that we're not really showing up, and having a vision of what it will look and feel like when we do, can give us the inspiration we need to recover ourselves.

Even if we are suffering, we can show up to that experience ready to fully engage in it and learn what it has to offer. When we show up for our life, we are actively participating in being a happy person, achieving our goals, and generally living the life our soul really wants. If we need healing, we begin the process of seeking out those who can help us heal. If we need experience, we find the places and opportunities that can give us the experience we need in order to do the work we want to do in the world. Whatever we need, we look for it, and when we find it, we engage in the process of letting ourselves have it. When we do this kind of work, we become lively, confident, and passionate individuals.

There is almost nothing better in the world than the feeling of showing up for our own lives. When we can do this, we become people that are more alive and who have the ability to make things happen in our lives and the lives of the people around us. We walk through the world with the knowledge that we have a lot to offer and the desire to share it.

Something to share:

Life is more meaningful when we are willing to share our ideas, our thoughts, our knowledge, our experiences with other people, whether they are our family members and relatives, our colleagues and coworkers, our friends and newly acquaintances. Exchanging views and learning from each other will certainly enrich our lives and broadening the way we think and the way we see things in life. When we are able to look at things more openly with real understanding, then we can agree to disagree with other people for it's just a matter of different opinions.

At times when arguement arises, do not loss our heads and start to blame and criticize with finger pointing. It becomes worst when you try to play the role of a judge. This will not improve the already sour situation. I am sure no one likes to be victim of blame and target of critiicism. On the other hands, why do we allow ourselves get into unnecessary heated arguement? I think the best way to avoid an arguement is to humble ourselves so as to continue the discussion in a much friendly manner. There is nothing wrong to say,"Correct me if I am wrong" rather than to say "No, you're wrong".

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." How true it is that when we show a little respect for other people, they will in return show a bigger respect for us. When in contact with people, uttering words such as "Good morning", "Excuse me" and "Thank you" will brighten our everyday life as they'll respond well in return with smiles. How come? Well, when our words make them feel so good, it's natural that they want us to feel good too. Be nice to other people and we are able to get along with them easily. That's make us "a happy person" in life!

THINK LITERALLY TO FIND WAY OUT

I have also shared with my colleagues and friends the story of a moneylender and a young girl. It’s about the girl’s father, a poor farmer, who could not pay back the money he borrowed from the moneylender and could be thrown into jail. The moneylender proposed a deal to the young girl. He would forgo her father’s debt if she would accept the deal. However, if there was no deal, then her father would be sent to jail for not able to pay back the money.

The girl accepted the deal to save her father but she was asked to pick a river pebble from a moneybag. If she picked a black pebble, she would become the young wife of the moneylender but her father’s debt would be forgiven. If the pebble she picked was a white one, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

The moneylender was cunning as the girl saw him putting 2 black river pebbles into the moneybag. She could not expose the moneylender as a cheat for the deal would be called off. She knew that whichever pebble she picked, it would be a black one anyway and she had to marry to the old man. The picking would be witnessed in front of other farmers and village elders.

It seemed to be a very fair deal to the young girl but in actual fact it was not. She would be the end looser the moment she accepted the deal as the end result had already been fixed by the moneylender. Nevertheless, she would have no choice as she wanted to save her father from going to jail.

Now how will you suggest a way to help the girl to jump out from the moneylender’s trap and free herself from becoming the young wife of the moneylender and save her father from his debt and imprisonment?

Someone suggested that the girl took a white pebble hidden in her hand and then putting her hand into the bag and pulling it out quickly, thus showing the white pebble in her hand. But the cunning moneylender would have checked the girl’s hand before allowing her putting it into the bag to pick a pebble.

Do you think there was no choice for the girl but she had to pick one of the black pebbles to save her father and married to the old ugly moneylender?

There were other suggestions from my colleagues and friends as well but the correct one was a little trick played by the smart young girl. She had to show her hand before she put it into the bag to pick the pebble. The moment she pulled her hand out from it, she deliberately fell down and dropped the pebble on the ground full of other river pebbles.

What if she chose to throw away the pebble?

Surely someone in the crowd could have possibly seen the black color of the river pebble, right?

Well, she apologized for her clumsiness and asked the village head to examine the color of the remaining pebble in the bag. Since it was a black pebble, then the pebble she picked and dropped on the ground must be a white one. The moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty and the girl changed what seemed to be an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

I shared this story with the purpose to motivate my colleagues and friends and put confidence in them. First of all, we must be bold enough to accept all challenges even though the circumstances may not be in favor of us. In this story, if the young girl chose to disclose the cheating of the moneylender, the deal will be called off and her poor father will be sent into the jail.

For every problem, there is a solution. However, if we choose to focus on the problem, in this story both pebbles were black, and then we may not able to find the answer. We know that whichever pebble she picked would be a black one.

However, when we keep focusing on finding the way out and think literally, we can rule out all wrong possibilities and find the right one. The young girl put on her thinking cap not to expose the moneylender as a cheat by putting 2 black river pebbles into the moneybag, but by just playing a small trick, she got what she wanted for not becoming the young wife of the moneylender and her father was pardoned of his debt and need not go to jail.

In other words, when we are given a mission we must strike for a DEAL. With that in mind, then we can all put in our best efforts to get the DEAL without making any silly move that may jeopardize it. Once the DEAL is on, only then we'll focus on our vision. That is to see that the DEAL gets through. Eventually, we can achieve what we aim for.

What Really Makes a True Winner?

Lately I asked my colleagues and subordinate this question, "If you are in a 100m race, and after overtaking the 2nd runner, you are now in what position?” Most of them answered, without thinking, “In position one.” Then I asked them another question, “How about you overtaking the last runner? What position you are in now?” Again without thinking, they answered,"2nd last.”

I told them both answers were wrong. To the 2nd question, it’s not logical as you should be running in front of the last runner. When you overtake the 2nd runner, the 1st runner is still ahead of you, so you are only taking over the 2nd position.

My purpose of asking is not meant to test their wisdom but rather to motivate them not to waste time thinking of the last runner, but focus on reaching the finish line not just to beat the 2nd runner but also the 1st runner in order to be in position No. 1.

To be a winner, you have to have a vision to become a winner. First of all, you must realize that you were born to be a winner and you need to believe in yourself that you will become a winner. Always get up as a winner. In other words, you must see yourself as a winner in the mirror every morning. With such a strong self-confidence, then you must possess pleasant character and good qualities to become a winner.

1. Winners are focused. They have a sense of mission and work with a purpose. They know how to get to the finish line ahead of the other runners.

2. Winners are fully committed. It has to be a total commitment! Somehow, they will have to put in the extra courage going all out to win.

3. Winners are well disciplined. They follow rules. There is no partial obedience to instructions. It must be whole-hearted obedience to their trainers and it is done joyfully with enthusiasm!

4. Winners never make excuses. They will not give lame excuses for temporary set back but rather they remain cool, analyze thoroughly, plan again and take fast action to overcome all mistakes and errors in order to win.

5. Winners are dedicated. They find strong reasons to win. They make things happen.

6. Winners are determined. When a job has to be done, it can be done and has to be done. They will not leave their jobs half-done or half-undone.

7. Winners never point finger. They accept responsibilities and not to put the blame on their subordinates or finding “scapegoats” on the others to get themselves out of the troubled waters.
8. Winners value time management. They manage their time better than the others. They realize that “早起的鳥兒有虫吃 early birds catch the worms.” They ensure that they are at the workplace much earlier than their subordinates. They are no latecomers to office (or muster ground for planters) as they are good leaders.

9. Winners stand tall. They never bow down to adverse environment and difficult situation. They never quit. They take their earlier defeats as valuable lessons. They don’t give up but get up and start over again to fight like a champion until they win.

10. Winners are optimists. They don’t cry over spilled milk. They brush aside worries and fears. Just as illustrated in the above picture, as written in Chinese, “笑到最後后的人才是真正的贏家 a person who laughs till the end is a true winner!”

All in all, God wants winners to be “more than conquerors”! (Roman 8:37)

HEALTH OR WEALTH?

If it's got to be one or the other, health is the obvious choice, right? Then why do so many of us sacrifice it for wealth? Mainly because we believe we can get away with it. And we can for a while.

But as the days and years go by and we are preoccupied with our daily routines, we don't think of our health - as long as it doesn't come to the fore. And even then, there are always pills to help us get by: pills for headaches, pills for high blood pressure, and pills for sleeplessness.

Out of shape? Overweight? Fatigued? Let's take care of it later.

Not just now - time is money!

"So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.” - A.J. Reb Materi

”The first wealth is health.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

But there won't always be time. When a heart attack, a chronic disease, or a loss of physical capacity reminds us of our mortality, our priorities will change. Gaining more influence and wealth will be toppled from their lofty rankings. If we choose wealth over health, we may end up spending our wealth trying to regain our health. It would be a lot easier and wiser to change our routines now, while there is still time.

What about today? Why not walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator?

Something to share ….

“恭喜發財GONG XI FA CAI!” That’s what the Chinese greet one another when they meet on the 1st day of Lunar New Year. They wish their friends, relatives, colleagues and business associates a prosperous new year to get richer and gather more wealth. I prefer to greet everyone “恭喜健康 GONG XI JIAN KANG” to wish them good health and stay healthy.

A Chinese saying puts it very clearly,” 健康才是財富 Health is wealth. 無病才是幸福 No sickness is happiness.” But most Chinese ask for wealth from 財神爺 God of Fortune, not for health!

To stay healthy, we have to take the doctor’s advice:

Have regular exercise. Walk instead of ride. Cycle instead of drive.
(For planters, we are paid to walk the fields. How nice!)

Drink 8 glasses of pure water instead of 8 cans of soft drinks.
(Most planters drink more than 8 glasses of water a day, since we sweat a lot while walking in the fields.)

Have adequate sleep of 8 hours for proper rest after a hard day’s work.
(Most planters used to go to bed earlier and wake up early in the following morning to conduct the muster call.)

Eat 5-7 portions of green vegetables and fruits a day. Go for white meats such as fishes and chicken rather than red meats such as beef, mutton and pork.
(Growing own organic vegetables and fruits such as papaya, bananas, pineapples, guava, star fruit, avocado, etc using bunch ash, empty bunches and biosolids and rearing kampong chicken are good hobbies for planters. For planters who like fishing, there are plentiful of fresh water fishes in ponds, drains, streams and rivers.)

Don’t try to save some money on your health! Have regular medical checkups. Prevention is better than cure.

WORDS

Emily and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."

On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."

Emily answered,” You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

When we always forget mutual respect and courtesy, we may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. Frequently exchanging teasing remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

Something to share…

Words can heal and words can hurt. Using the right words improves good relationship. On the other hand, using the wrong words hurts the other person’s feeling and as a result the relationship sours. It becomes worst if the other person is having a “kiasu” attitude. When he or she does not want to be teased, it is a natural response that he or she will give it back to you, very badly.

A Chinese saying puts it this way, “病從口入, 楇從口出 Sickness enters into our mouths, and trouble comes out from our mouths.” When we have eaten unclean foods, we fall sick and may get food poisoning. When we have spoken unclean words, we get into big troubles.

If we speak bad words that hurt, obviously these words of lies, gossip, rumor and carry tales will damage our relationship with other people. On the other hands, if we speak good words that heal, surely these words of encouragement and motivation will improve our relationship with other people.

When married couples always speak words of care and concern, words of understanding and appreciation, words of kindness and love, they will eventually enjoy more and more of their companionship and live on much happier together.

How true it is that “a good word makes it glad” as written in Proverbs 12:25 and ”pleasant words are like a honeycomb; sweetness to the soul and health to the bones” in Proverbs 16:24.

BE FIRM ON YOUR ACTION!

A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented,” Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey?” Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.

Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old lady.

She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.

You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

Something to share….

“Do right and fear no man.” That’s what my xifu, Mr. Tony Chew, had taught me. Since then, I had shared this with many planters who had worked with me and under my guidance. Doing right is that you know your conscience is clear as you are well guided by honesty and integrity. Thus, you do not fear your boss! You have established a strong bond of TRUST between you and your boss.

On management aspect, as long as we know what we are doing is on the right track, then we do not need to bother of what others had said and commented even if they might be out of good intention. Don’t be indecisive! If you can’t make up your mind and keep changing the way you are doing while listening to wrong advice, then you will loss your directions and end up doing wrong things.

Just like you are playing a game of chess, those onlookers who stand behind you are fond of making comments to influence your next move. Don’t listen to them and don’t get distracted. Just focus and concentrate on the game in order to study and analyze your opponent’s last move. Then you know that the next move you make is a right move. When it’s game over, you are pretty sure that you have just won the game!

TRUST

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.

She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence.

She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer.

When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

Something to share ...

In plantation management, the manager is entrusted to spend in millions Ringgit Malaysia or miliars Rupiah Indonesia once the annual budget has been finalized and approved. Thus, the trust in him to spend wisely and honestly is the main concern of the boss. He will put “eyes and ears” all over the places to cross-check and monitor just to make sure that the manager he engaged is a trusted person of honesty and integrity. Any bosses, for that matter, do not want his managers to cheat, to take bribe from contractors and to accept commission from suppliers.

However, some bosses are very light-eared. They will believe whatever information they received. It’s a pity that in some cases, the TRUST has been destroyed by gossips, rumors, hearsays, carry tales, lies, and cock-and-bull stories about the managers. There is a Chinese saying, “用人不疑, 疑人不用 When engage people do not suspect him. If there is suspicion do not engage him.”

A person of honesty knows that when integrity is lost, all is lost! He is aware of doing right and fears no man but fears God. In other words, a person who fears God will have to do right and do no wrongs according to God’s will, thus he needs not fear his boss as long as he is honest with integrity. After all, integrity and respect come to those who can do good jobs!