Friday 22 August 2008

The Friend We Want To Be - Evaluating Our Relationships

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

Something to share:

Friendship is very valuable for “he who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.” It’s true that at time we have to evaluate our relationships with our friends. We should make every effort to maintain friendship instead of breaking relationship with friends due to misunderstanding, disagreement or conflict. We have to learn how to value and restore the relationship with friends.

Be frank when we come to evaluating/restoring relationship with friends. Never talk bad or point finger from the back. Be open and transparent. As friends, we must learn to get along with one another. Any disagreement, conflict and misunderstanding among friends will have to be resolved in order to maintain the valuable friendship.

It’s better for you to take the initiative step and make the first move if you want a heart-to-heart talk with any friend, whether you feel being let down or you have let your friend down. Go to the friend the sooner the better and make things right in a face–to–face meeting. Any delay is undesirable as it may deepen the misunderstanding and sour the relationship further. Of course the meeting should be well timed and at the right place to meet. How to talk is as important as what to say. The right approach by you and your friend will build up a better supportive friendship in the end.

THE BETTER WAY TO UNDERSTAND SOMEONE IS TO SHARE THE SAME VIEW !


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