Tuesday 28 October 2008

Taking Another Look: Importance of Second Chances

When we meet someone for the first time, we often create a defining image in our minds of who that person is. We may also determine whether or not that someone is worth getting to know. Sometimes when an initial interaction is particularly uncomfortable or challenging, we can decide to close our hearts to this new acquaintance entirely. But being too quick to judge can cause us to lose out on a potentially wonderful, enriching relationship. First impressions don't always give the complete picture, so if you meet someone who leaves you less than impressed; consider giving them a second chance. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Everyone deserves to be given a second chance. We know from personal experience how painful it can feel to be misunderstood or judged. We have good hearts and want them to be seen. We have so much to offer and want others to welcome our gifts. When someone shuts us out before they even know who we are, it can feel frustrating, hurtful, and confusing. By giving others a second chance, we can extend the same courtesy we would ask for ourselves. In this way, we set a precedent for all our relationships: to allow everyone the freedom and safety to simply be human. Whether it is a blind date, the man sitting next to you on the airplane, or your new neighbor, everyone has a full life outside of their interaction with you. They may be preoccupied with a personal or business situation that affects the way they are presenting themselves, or maybe they had a rough day or some bad news. If you give them the room to be who they are, where they are, you will allow yourself to do the same.

When you are considering giving someone a second chance, first check in with your inner knowing. If you find that your intuition is advising you to keep your distance, it is important to honor the guidance you receive. By honoring your intuition when it has wisdom to share, you can feel confident and happy in your decision to give others a second chance.

Something to share:

How true it is that the first time you come across a person you tend to ignore him just as he takes no notice of you. This is a common human nature. But will you take the initiative and friendly approach to start the conversation and connect the relationship with him the second time meeting him?

Few days ago I saw this Indonesian guy in the pool when I went for a swim in Tiara Hotel’s swimming pool. Before I got into the pool, he started swimming away. So there was no chance to say “Hello”. Yesterday I was in the sauna room after the ping pong games with my colleague, SS. The door opened and this guy walked in. I looked at him and he looked at me but there was no eye contact. After a while, I decided to open my mouth and talked to him in Bahasa Indonesia. Once we had started our conversation, I found that he was as friendly as me and he spoke fairly good English. I felt glad that I had made a new friend because of taking the second chance.

One day my HRD personnels came to see me and proposed to promote someone who had sat for the evaluation test and his result was just at the borderline. The reason given was that he was the next in line. They also explained to me that the mill manager was satisfied with his performance and supported the promotion. Accordingly, the not so good result might have been due to his sick condition on the day the test took place. I told them on principle I could not approve such a recommendation but I could consider giving him the second chance. I suggested allowing him to re-sit the test and we would judge again by his new result. He passed with flying color and eventually he got his promotion.

Yes. “Everyone deserves to be given a second chance!” Don’t you agree?