Wisdom & Decision Making

WHERE CAN WE FIND WISDOM?

Who among us does not look back in regret over a past decision? Sometimes we had inadequate information to make the right judgment. But often we simply lacked the necessary wisdom to make the right choice at the right time.

- THE NIV QUIET TIME BIBLE (Ecclesiastes 7/Pg 791)

Something to share:

Wisdom comes with experience, and experience come with age. God says, “Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom,” and “Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7a & 3:13) With adequate experience, you will have the wisdom to make the right decision at the right time to gain success. But if you make the right decision at the wrong timing, it’s unacceptable. Making a wrong decision is already a mistake but if at the wrong time, then it’s a disaster. As a consequence, our reputation or position could be at stake.

It’s essential to make analysis well before making a decision. Always gather adequate information to do a thorough cost- and -benefit analysis before making decision. Don’t be in a hurry to make decision if you are not sure of your perception and situation. However, this doesn’t mean that you can become indecisive by adopting the so-called “wait and see” attitude. The “keep delaying” attitude is another form of your indecisiveness. It’s better to make a decision than not making decision at all. However, any decision made should be an effective one. Then it’s a right decision.

Why do people look back and regret over a past decision? It’s alright to look back and learn from past mistake but it’s just a waste of time if you keep regretting over it. Remember that what had been done cannot be undone. If you think you had made a wrong decision in the past, then you should look forward to spend time on gathering adequate information to make a right decision today so that you won’t regret over it later on.

Our life journey is a process of decision making. As a leader, you must realize the power of decision making. Timing is of paramount important. Thus, decision making must not long past its time and purpose. You are solely responsible for making a decision and don’t find a scapegoat to blame for the wrong decision made. You must learn from the past mistakes once you realize that a wrong decision had been made. When you are determined not to repeat the same mistakes, such determination will give you the power to make a right decision but make it at the right time. Once a decision has been made, then it’s time to act immediately. Any delayed action is undesirable because circumstances may change rapidly. Therefore, to be really successful, you have to make the right decision at the right time and followed by fast action with total commitment.

Mind Your Own Business?

One day, a little mouse living on a farm, spied the farmer and his wife opening a package. He was aghast to discover that the package contained, not food, but a mouse trap. The mouse ran to the farmyard warning everyone. "There is a mouse trap in the house; there is a mouse trap in the house!"

The chicken raises his head and exclaimed. "Mr. Mouse, I can tell you this trap is a grave concern to you, but it has no consequence to me and I cannot be bothered with it."

The mouse turned to the pig. "I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse, but the trap is no concern of mine either."

The mouse then turned to the bull. "Sounds like you have a problem Mr. Mouse, but not one that concerns me."

The mouse returned to the house dejected that no one would help him or was concerned about his dilemma. He knew he had to face the trap on his own. That night the sound of a trap catching its prey was heard throughout the house.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness she could see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The wife caught a bad fever and the farmer knew the best way to treat a fever was with chicken soup. He took his hatchet to the farmyard to get the soup's main ingredient.

The wife got sicker, and friends visited her round the clock. The farmer had to feed them, so he butchered the pig. The farmer's wife got worse and died. So many friends and family came to her funeral that the farmer had to slaughter the bull to feed them all.

So the next time we hear that one of our team-mates is facing a problem and think it does not concern or affect us, let us remember this:

When anyone of our team members is in trouble, we are all at risk.

Something to share:

Mind your own business? That’s too bad and it’s definitely a wrong attitude. You just can’t mind your own business when your friend or your team member is in trouble.

You will get “slaughtered” too in the end if you refused to mind the business right from the beginning. If you are not concerned and refuse to help, thinking that it’s none of your business to intervene and you can get away with it, then you are wrong! Always remember that the fire in your neighbour’s house may spread to your house in the same row. That’s the moral of the story.

Well, in the context of teamwork, it’s no more a matter of whether it’s your business (your problem) or my business (my problem) but rather it’s our business (our problem). Whenever a team member gets into trouble (having problem), we have to show our concern and start minding each other’s business (solving the problem collectively). Every team member will have to accept each other and offer help when needed. No matter what the differences, all team members must stay beside each other and support each other. We will either swim or die with our team members in the river of trouble, but there is always a WAY OUT when we stick together.

That’s the true spirit of teamwork!

INFLUENTIAL FRIENDS

Life in a foreign country can be difficult. There are new foods, unexpected customs, new ways of speaking or even a new language, different ways of dressing and much more. Something that helps a great deal in such a situation is a friend from the new culture who can help you make the adjustment and introduce around.

- The NIV Quiet Time Bible (Pg 526)

Sharing experiences:

A Chinese proverb says, 在家靠父母，岀門靠朋友 (zai jia kao fu mu, chu men kao peng you) It means: “It is your parents that you can rely on at home, but it is your friends that you can count on when out in the society.”

How true it is that when we come to a new country to work as an expatriate, surely a local friend who is quite influential in the local society is of great help to show us around the places where to eat and where to shop; what rules and what laws and orders we should observe and what things we should try to avoid. In fact, I feel that the sooner the better for us to get acquainted with more local friends but must be helpful, trustworthy and reliable. Better still if we have some old friends who came before us to guide us with useful tips and to share their experiences with us. Then even though we may be naïve and fresh to the new country, we won’t have to make the wrong move and get into unnecessary troubles.

There are many Malaysian planters working in various places in different provinces in Indonesia, from Sumatra to Kalimantan, and now some even in Sulawesi, Papua and Irian Jaya. I think most of us have gone through the language shock when we find out that the Bahasa Malaysia we speak at home is so much different from Bahasa Indonesia. I believe learning the cross-cultural knowledge and customs in Indonesia is very essential for any expatriate to maintain good and harmony working relationships with the local staff and workers. We certainly need our Indonesian friends and the old timers here to help us make the adjustment and quicken our adaptability in the new working environments here.

In another Chinese proverb, it is known as 入乡随俗 (rù xiāng suí sú ) :“Follow the local custom when you go to a foreign place” or “In Rome do as the Romans do.” As expatriates working abroad, we need our local friends to point out to us that it is in the best interest to learn how to be tolerant and observe the culture of the home country with respect and with some degree of sensibility. Undoubtedly, it takes time and effort to develop cross-culture communication when we first come into interacting with local managers, executives, colleagues and co-workers, bearing in mind that the most effective communication should be two-way. We need to learn from our local friends how to value and enjoy our differences in backgrounds, races, religions, languages, tradition, customs and culture, and then we are able to focus on what we have in common in the context of teamwork and good management practices.

Poetry In Motion - Moving Your Body

Our bodies love movement. When we stretch or dance, our bodies adjust, realign and start to become fluid with the rhythm of life. Our mood lifts and we feel more connected with the world around us. If you are feeling stuck, ready to release old energy or eager to feel more alive, try moving your body. By giving your muscles a chance to do what they were created for, you may find that all areas of your body and your life benefit as well.

Many times we can be so busy that we forget moving our body is even an option. Some of us remain seated at our computer for hours every day or rush from task to task with robotic precision. When we are caught up in crossing items off our to-do lists, we tend to neglect all the opportunities there are to enjoy our bodies in the process of living. If this is true for you, begin looking for opportunities to move. You might try dancing or moving about freely as you clean your home, tend your garden or care for your children. If you are able to devote a set amount of time to self-care, practices such as yoga, dance, tai chi and walking are all great ways to keep your body in motion.

Imagine how freeing it would feel to trust your body's movements completely; knowing it has a perfect strength and rhythm of its own. See if you can sense your bones providing graceful support, your muscles and tendons expanding and contracting in just the right measure, your lungs changing pace to fill deeply with fresh air. Movement is a vital celebration of life. It is a way to proclaim your own existence and relish in the joy of being alive. Today, and into the future, give yourself the gift of your body in motion.

Something to share:

How lucky we are working as planters that our job practically requires us to walk the fields. Planters are paid to walk everyday. That was the remarks of a senior planter to me in 1985 when I was transferred to Makassar Estate, Keratong, Pahang, in 1985. He was the Manager of Merchong Estate and we were neighbors.

In fact the basic work’s ethics for planters is none other than walking in the fields. No wonder someone had commented, “THE BEST PLANTATION PRACTICE IS THE PLANTER’S BOOTS AND NOTHING BEATS WALKING THROUGH THE FIELDS”

By the way, walking is an excellent exercise. It is a gentle, low-impact and safe exercise; just moving our bodies in motion as we swing our hands. But when planters walk in the fields, they also turn their heads left and right as they are trained to be observant and sharp in vision.

The normal advice from our doctors is to take a minimum of 30 minutes brisk walking for at least five days a week. For planters, walking in the fields for hours is not a problem. Don’t be surprised that there are still many senior planters way pass the age of 60 and are still walking in plantations all over the world. Well, thank God that it’s just because of their daily walking life that has been keeping them in good health.

Swimming is also another great exercise to keep our bodies in motion, beside golfing, walking, dancing, yoga and tai chi.

I would like to suggest to you to put on your MP3 or walkman and listen to Johnny Tillotson singing “Poetry In Motion” while you are brisk walking. The song’s lyrics may lighten you to swing and move your whole body in motion.

When I see my baby

What do I see?

Poetry

Poetry in motion...

How nice !!!

Broken Connection?

Something happened in the past and it wasn't pleasant. Heavy words were exchanged, a friendship broke up, and we lost contact with people we are now missing. Broken connections are a tragic fact of our fast-moving life. But whatever the reason for the breakup, these connections can be repaired. Maybe not all of them, but we should notresign; we should give it a try. Don't forget that time is a healer. And modern technology makes it easier than ever for us to reconnect.

“Keep your friendships in repair.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”- Richard Bach

A friendly e-mail that communicates that you would like to reconnect is just one idea. Or you could send an unexpected birthday card to the other party. Or depending on the situation, you could even make a phone call addressing the issue in positive, conciliatory words, or use friends in common to convey a message. I am sure you can think of many other ways, once you've made the decision to try. But what if it doesn't work? Then you can pat yourself on the back and be proud that you tried. And then just let go.

Wouldn't it be nice to reconnect with someone? Have the courage to try.

Something to share:

As illustrated in the Chinese Proverb: 海内存知已，天涯若比邻 (hai nei cun zhi ji, tianya ruo bi lin). The world is but a little place, after all.

A broke up 友情(you qing) friendship does not mean that your friend had become your enemy and that the friendship between you and him or her had been totally ruined. Whatever reasons that caused the break up; don’t you think it’s time to forgive and forget and to reconcile the broken relationship?

You may feel that it’s easier to forgive than to forget. You may be ready to forgive someone who had hurt you deeply, but somehow you still have a hard time trusting that person again. Why? What if that someone is having the same feeling as yours?

Make an attempt to meet up and reconnect again. Make up your mind to forgive and forget. Let be friends again. The world is but a little place, after all.

UNLIMITED ENTHUSIASM

When a group of two hundred executives were asked what makes a person successful, eighty percent (80%) listed enthusiasm as the most important quality. More important than skill. More important than training. Even more important than experience.

Before water will produce enough steam to power an engine, it must boil. The steam engine won't move a train an inch until the steam gauge registers 212 degrees. Likewise, the person without enthusiasm is trying to move the machinery of life with lukewarm water. Only one thing will happen: that person will stall.

A. B. Zu Tavern asserts that enthusiasm is electricity in the battery. It's the vigor in the air. It's the warmth in the fire. It's the breath in all things alive. Successful people are enthusiastic about what they do. "Good work is never done in cold blood," he says, "heat is needed to forge any­thing. Every great achievement is the story of a flaming heart."

You may have all of the skill, training and experience you've ever need. Add enthusiasm to those assets and you will be truly unstoppable!

Something2share:

How true it is that enthusiasm does make a big difference between you and others. When you are interested in your job and feel enthusiastic in doing it, you can perform better than others who are still lack in enthusiasm. Why? That’s because with enthusiasm, you are more certain and sure of your skill, potential and experience, thus you are in a better position to excel in performance than others.

With enthusiasm, there is accomplishment and you can become a good leader. With unlimited enthusiasm, you will become a great leader. Not only you can influence other persons but also you will have a high command over them to accomplish what you want them to do as you have earned their respect. A great leader is always there to teach, to train, to coach, to guide, to motivate, to encourage, and to lift up team members so as to make them leaders too.

In Beijing Olympics 2008, Michael Phelps of USA, at 6ft 4ins tall with unlimited enthusiasm in swimming, became “The Impossible” winning 8 gold medals in the 400m medley, 200m freestyle, 200m butterfly, 4x100m free relay, 4x200m free relay, 200m medley, 100m butterfly and the 4x100m medley and set world records in all the eight finals. Usain Bolt of Jamaica, at 6 ft 5ins tall with unlimited enthusiasm in running, became “The Incredible” and the new fastest man on earth breaking both men’s 100m and 200m world records. He also won another gold medal together with his teammates in men’s 4 x 400m relay event, breaking the world record too. Both of them are great sportsmen indeed!

Don’t be just a good planter. Show your unlimited enthusiasm in whatever you do in plantation management, and “you will be truly unstoppable” to become a great planter.

THE RUNNER'S DISCIPLINE

We often wonder why thousand of marathoners seem to enjoy themselves in grueling races. Certainly, for most, it’s not the hope of winning. What is it then? Explaining it to his readers, writer Art Carey said,” The real joy of the Boston Marathon is just finishing, just winning the contest with yourself – doing what you have set out to do.” That’s the attitude the Hebrews were supposed to have. Stay in the faith-race to the end.

THE NIV QUIET TIME BIBLE (Hebrews 12: Page 1518)

Something2Share:

I believe we can learn something out of the discipline of the marathon runners. It was rightly said that the marathon runners who had trained hard for the race, went all out to finish the race with endurance and perseverance, even if not in a position to win the race.

We have heard of John Steven Akhwari, the marathon runner from Tanzania, in 1968 Mexico City Olympics. We read about him, being a disciplined athlete, hobbled in pain to reach the finish line with a bandaged leg. Although he finished in the last place but he had accomplished the mission that he was supposed to do. He was well aware that his country sent him there to finish the race.

Just as written in Hebrews 12:1, ”Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” and in Hebrews 12:11, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Likewise, we have to discipline ourselves in our workplace, to do “what we have set out to do.” Each time we finish our task, no matter how tough it is, we know that we can do it with discipline, dedication and determination, and then full of diligence, persistence and perseverance. That’s what we call job satisfaction ("real joy") and we all feel proud of it!

WINNING THE RACE

Coaches tell us that what distinguishes average from superior athletes is the will to win. Endowed with equal physical strengths, one reaches the height of stardom while the other slips into obscurity. One succeeded and the other failed. What made the difference? THE WILL TO WIN.

Something2share:

The 29th Summer Olympic Games held in Beijing 2008 was just over on 24 August with a total of 10,500 athletes competed in 302 events and in 28 sports. The open ceremony was held on 8 August (i.e. 08.08.08). There were 43 new world records and 132 new Olympic records set during the Games. Great and marvelous results that had been achieved by gold medalists in Beijing Olympics!

The remarkable and amazing ones are none other than Michael Phelps of USA winning 8 gold medals in swimming events and broke the record of most golds in one Olympics. We had also witnessed Usain Bolt of Jamaica breaking men’s 100m world record at “9.69 seconds” and also setting men’s 200m world record at “19.30 seconds”. Both of them had “the will to win” and they had won!

Likewise, we must also have “the will to excel” in our performance and “the will to succeed” so as to be successful in our professions.

A Persian Story of the Jumping Frogs

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead.

Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.

This frog, though, was deaf, unable to hear the others plea. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

This story teaches us two lessons:

There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.

A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.

Something2Share:

How true it is that at time we need to turn our deaf ears to what others say. Don’t listen to them. They are not your true friends but enemies in disguise. When they speak negative words to you, you can sense it that they are taking the opportunity of your bad situation to discourage you, to pinch you down, to make you more depressed, and to destroy you in the end. (They are just like the group of frogs telling the 2 poor frogs fell into a deep pit to give up hope and die.)

There are also people who like to gossip, spread rumor and carry tales about you in the company. Do not be one of them. Always believe the principle of “Do right fear no man but fear God.” In the end, you will be blessed and you will be a blessing to others.

The worst that you could have encountered is one of your colleagues who had told unfounded lies to your boss so that you are no longer stand in his way for his promotion in the company. That’s the evil intention in him. In Chinese, such person is known as 小人 (xiao ren : wicked man). He is 狼披羊皮（lang pi yang pi : a “wolf” putting on the “sheep’s skin”). Beware of this kind of person and keep a distance from him. Don’t ever associate with him.

God wants us to be good and not to be wicked. He wants us to be righteous gentlemen showing tender care to others with love. When we can speak words of encouragement, we are able to help others and lift them up. Unlike the wicked men, they speak words of condemn to drag people down.

Positively speaking, by constant sharing and keep on motivating others, we are able to turn "give up" into "take up", "misery" into "hope", "loss" into "win", "failure" into "success" and "unhappiness" into "joy"!

The Friend We Want To Be - Evaluating Our Relationships

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

Something to share:

Friendship is very valuable for “he who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.” It’s true that at time we have to evaluate our relationships with our friends. We should make every effort to maintain friendship instead of breaking relationship with friends due to misunderstanding, disagreement or conflict. We have to learn how to value and restore the relationship with friends.

Be frank when we come to evaluating/restoring relationship with friends. Never talk bad or point finger from the back. Be open and transparent. As friends, we must learn to get along with one another. Any disagreement, conflict and misunderstanding among friends will have to be resolved in order to maintain the valuable friendship.

It’s better for you to take the initiative step and make the first move if you want a heart-to-heart talk with any friend, whether you feel being let down or you have let your friend down. Go to the friend the sooner the better and make things right in a face–to–face meeting. Any delay is undesirable as it may deepen the misunderstanding and sour the relationship further. Of course the meeting should be well timed and at the right place to meet. How to talk is as important as what to say. The right approach by you and your friend will build up a better supportive friendship in the end.

THE BETTER WAY TO UNDERSTAND SOMEONE IS TO SHARE THE SAME VIEW !

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It’s a dog’s life after all

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he saw a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices he has a note in his mouth.

He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well".

The butcher looks inside and, behold, a ten dollar note. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth.

The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog. So off he goes.

The dog is walking down the street when he comes to a level crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button.

Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided.

Along comes a bus. The dog walks around to the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on.

The butcher, by now, open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the dog looking at the scenery.

Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus. He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth.

Well, dog and butcher are walking along the road, and then the dog turns into a house.

He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself against the door.

He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and again, it throws himself against it.

There's no answer at the house, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!" to which the guy responds:

"You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."

Something2share:

The message is clear: DON’T REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKE

When I was Plantation Manager many years ago, I used to remind my Assistants, “You are good, but if you repeat the same mistakes, you are good-for-nothing!”

For those who had accepted my statement positively, they were extra careful not to repeat the same mistakes again as they didn’t want to be good-for-nothing. I had also told them, "Don’t be just good. Try to be better. Aim for the best.”

I feel proud of those who have climbed up the ladder of success and now holding higher position than just a Plantation Manager. They are not only good for not repeating the same mistakes, but they have taken my advice and have been motivated to be better and are aiming for the best in their career path.

WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Former prisoner James Knapp confessed to police that he'd robbed two stores in Oklahoma (USA), because he missed his old cell mates. Police said they'd see if James could be reunited with his buddies.

But I think Mr. Knapp might have said something worth listening to. We need friends, no matter where we find them.

And do you know who your best friend is? Automaker Henry Ford was having lunch with a man, when he suddenly asked the man that very question. "Who is your best friend?" Ford asked.

The man hesitated and Ford went on. "I'll tell you who your best friend is," he said. Then he wrote this sentence for the man to read: "Your best friend is he who brings out the best that is within you." Our best friends are those who do more than simply like us. They also believe in us. They support us but, occasionally, they nudge us as well.

Someone put it well: "A friend is someone who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become, and still, and gently invites you to grow."

Now...who is your best friend?

Something to share:

In life, we have had many childhood friends as we went through schooling in primary and secondary schools. But as we grew up, many of us had left our hometowns to attend higher education in other big towns or cities or even went abroad to study overseas. Others had gone to seek employment else where. Later we could have settled down in other places and have our families there. Some could have migrated overseas to other countries. Thus as time went by, we might have lost contact with most of them. But if we are still keeping in touch with few of them, we can consider them as our lifelong friends.

For those who were fortunate to have the opportunity furthering their studies, they also made friends in colleges and universities. Then they met new acquaintances in their workplaces, in club houses and places they used to hang around after work. They also have neighbours in where they stay. They happened to know some of them if not all and whenever they met they said “hello” to each other or just waved hand to show their friendliness but they did not have close relationship. Over a period, somehow there bond to be few of them who later became friends once relationship had been established gradually and eventually. They will most likely meet up everyday in kopitiam (their favourite coffee shop) and keep talking on all sorts of topics especially the current affairs in town and in the country.

Nevertheless, no matter where we are, we do need friends although only a limited number of them with whom we can have and maintain a close and intimate friendship. These are the friends who have the same interests, hobbies and philosophy like ours. We have the same kind of character, same direction, same dream and same goal. Thus we are able to communicate and to understand each other very well that we share joys and sorrows together. We will encourage, motivate and support each other in time of need. Obviously, we have become buddies.

Yes. I do agree that “a best friend is the one who brings out the best that is within you”. Remember, a best friend is also a true friend. Someone says,"A true friend is one who holds your hand and thus touches your heart.” When you hear “I’ll be there for you” from a friend, he is, undoubtedly, your true friend and your best friend!.

Actively Participating Showing Up For Life

The way we walk into a room says a lot about the way we live our lives. When we walk into a room curious about what's happening, willing to engage, and perceiving ourselves as an active participant with something to offer, then we have really shown up to the party. When we walk into a room with our eyes down, or nervously smiling, we are holding ourselves back for one reason or another. We may be hurting inside and in need of healing, or we may lack the confidence required to really be present in the room. Still, just noticing that we're not really showing up, and having a vision of what it will look and feel like when we do, can give us the inspiration we need to recover ourselves.

Even if we are suffering, we can show up to that experience ready to fully engage in it and learn what it has to offer. When we show up for our life, we are actively participating in being a happy person, achieving our goals, and generally living the life our soul really wants. If we need healing, we begin the process of seeking out those who can help us heal. If we need experience, we find the places and opportunities that can give us the experience we need in order to do the work we want to do in the world. Whatever we need, we look for it, and when we find it, we engage in the process of letting ourselves have it. When we do this kind of work, we become lively, confident, and passionate individuals.

There is almost nothing better in the world than the feeling of showing up for our own lives. When we can do this, we become people that are more alive and who have the ability to make things happen in our lives and the lives of the people around us. We walk through the world with the knowledge that we have a lot to offer and the desire to share it.

Something to share:

Life is more meaningful when we are willing to share our ideas, our thoughts, our knowledge, our experiences with other people, whether they are our family members and relatives, our colleagues and coworkers, our friends and newly acquaintances. Exchanging views and learning from each other will certainly enrich our lives and broadening the way we think and the way we see things in life. When we are able to look at things more openly with real understanding, then we can agree to disagree with other people for it's just a matter of different opinions.

At times when arguement arises, do not loss our heads and start to blame and criticize with finger pointing. It becomes worst when you try to play the role of a judge. This will not improve the already sour situation. I am sure no one likes to be victim of blame and target of critiicism. On the other hands, why do we allow ourselves get into unnecessary heated arguement? I think the best way to avoid an arguement is to humble ourselves so as to continue the discussion in a much friendly manner. There is nothing wrong to say,"Correct me if I am wrong" rather than to say "No, you're wrong".

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." How true it is that when we show a little respect for other people, they will in return show a bigger respect for us. When in contact with people, uttering words such as "Good morning", "Excuse me" and "Thank you" will brighten our everyday life as they'll respond well in return with smiles. How come? Well, when our words make them feel so good, it's natural that they want us to feel good too. Be nice to other people and we are able to get along with them easily. That's make us "a happy person" in life!

THINK LITERALLY TO FIND WAY OUT

I have also shared with my colleagues and friends the story of a moneylender and a young girl. It’s about the girl’s father, a poor farmer, who could not pay back the money he borrowed from the moneylender and could be thrown into jail. The moneylender proposed a deal to the young girl. He would forgo her father’s debt if she would accept the deal. However, if there was no deal, then her father would be sent to jail for not able to pay back the money.

The girl accepted the deal to save her father but she was asked to pick a river pebble from a moneybag. If she picked a black pebble, she would become the young wife of the moneylender but her father’s debt would be forgiven. If the pebble she picked was a white one, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

The moneylender was cunning as the girl saw him putting 2 black river pebbles into the moneybag. She could not expose the moneylender as a cheat for the deal would be called off. She knew that whichever pebble she picked, it would be a black one anyway and she had to marry to the old man. The picking would be witnessed in front of other farmers and village elders.

It seemed to be a very fair deal to the young girl but in actual fact it was not. She would be the end looser the moment she accepted the deal as the end result had already been fixed by the moneylender. Nevertheless, she would have no choice as she wanted to save her father from going to jail.

Now how will you suggest a way to help the girl to jump out from the moneylender’s trap and free herself from becoming the young wife of the moneylender and save her father from his debt and imprisonment?

Someone suggested that the girl took a white pebble hidden in her hand and then putting her hand into the bag and pulling it out quickly, thus showing the white pebble in her hand. But the cunning moneylender would have checked the girl’s hand before allowing her putting it into the bag to pick a pebble.

Do you think there was no choice for the girl but she had to pick one of the black pebbles to save her father and married to the old ugly moneylender?

There were other suggestions from my colleagues and friends as well but the correct one was a little trick played by the smart young girl. She had to show her hand before she put it into the bag to pick the pebble. The moment she pulled her hand out from it, she deliberately fell down and dropped the pebble on the ground full of other river pebbles.

What if she chose to throw away the pebble?

Surely someone in the crowd could have possibly seen the black color of the river pebble, right?

Well, she apologized for her clumsiness and asked the village head to examine the color of the remaining pebble in the bag. Since it was a black pebble, then the pebble she picked and dropped on the ground must be a white one. The moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty and the girl changed what seemed to be an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

I shared this story with the purpose to motivate my colleagues and friends and put confidence in them. First of all, we must be bold enough to accept all challenges even though the circumstances may not be in favor of us. In this story, if the young girl chose to disclose the cheating of the moneylender, the deal will be called off and her poor father will be sent into the jail.

For every problem, there is a solution. However, if we choose to focus on the problem, in this story both pebbles were black, and then we may not able to find the answer. We know that whichever pebble she picked would be a black one.

However, when we keep focusing on finding the way out and think literally, we can rule out all wrong possibilities and find the right one. The young girl put on her thinking cap not to expose the moneylender as a cheat by putting 2 black river pebbles into the moneybag, but by just playing a small trick, she got what she wanted for not becoming the young wife of the moneylender and her father was pardoned of his debt and need not go to jail.

In other words, when we are given a mission we must strike for a DEAL. With that in mind, then we can all put in our best efforts to get the DEAL without making any silly move that may jeopardize it. Once the DEAL is on, only then we'll focus on our vision. That is to see that the DEAL gets through. Eventually, we can achieve what we aim for.

What Really Makes a True Winner?

Lately I asked my colleagues and subordinate this question, "If you are in a 100m race, and after overtaking the 2nd runner, you are now in what position?” Most of them answered, without thinking, “In position one.” Then I asked them another question, “How about you overtaking the last runner? What position you are in now?” Again without thinking, they answered,"2nd last.”

I told them both answers were wrong. To the 2nd question, it’s not logical as you should be running in front of the last runner. When you overtake the 2nd runner, the 1st runner is still ahead of you, so you are only taking over the 2nd position.

My purpose of asking is not meant to test their wisdom but rather to motivate them not to waste time thinking of the last runner, but focus on reaching the finish line not just to beat the 2nd runner but also the 1st runner in order to be in position No. 1.

To be a winner, you have to have a vision to become a winner. First of all, you must realize that you were born to be a winner and you need to believe in yourself that you will become a winner. Always get up as a winner. In other words, you must see yourself as a winner in the mirror every morning. With such a strong self-confidence, then you must possess pleasant character and good qualities to become a winner.

1. Winners are focused. They have a sense of mission and work with a purpose. They know how to get to the finish line ahead of the other runners.

2. Winners are fully committed. It has to be a total commitment! Somehow, they will have to put in the extra courage going all out to win.

3. Winners are well disciplined. They follow rules. There is no partial obedience to instructions. It must be whole-hearted obedience to their trainers and it is done joyfully with enthusiasm!

4. Winners never make excuses. They will not give lame excuses for temporary set back but rather they remain cool, analyze thoroughly, plan again and take fast action to overcome all mistakes and errors in order to win.

5. Winners are dedicated. They find strong reasons to win. They make things happen.

6. Winners are determined. When a job has to be done, it can be done and has to be done. They will not leave their jobs half-done or half-undone.

7. Winners never point finger. They accept responsibilities and not to put the blame on their subordinates or finding “scapegoats” on the others to get themselves out of the troubled waters.
8. Winners value time management. They manage their time better than the others. They realize that “早起的鳥兒有虫吃 early birds catch the worms.” They ensure that they are at the workplace much earlier than their subordinates. They are no latecomers to office (or muster ground for planters) as they are good leaders.

9. Winners stand tall. They never bow down to adverse environment and difficult situation. They never quit. They take their earlier defeats as valuable lessons. They don’t give up but get up and start over again to fight like a champion until they win.

10. Winners are optimists. They don’t cry over spilled milk. They brush aside worries and fears. Just as illustrated in the above picture, as written in Chinese, “笑到最後后的人才是真正的贏家 a person who laughs till the end is a true winner!”

All in all, God wants winners to be “more than conquerors”! (Roman 8:37)

HEALTH OR WEALTH?

If it's got to be one or the other, health is the obvious choice, right? Then why do so many of us sacrifice it for wealth? Mainly because we believe we can get away with it. And we can for a while.

But as the days and years go by and we are preoccupied with our daily routines, we don't think of our health - as long as it doesn't come to the fore. And even then, there are always pills to help us get by: pills for headaches, pills for high blood pressure, and pills for sleeplessness.

Out of shape? Overweight? Fatigued? Let's take care of it later.

Not just now - time is money!

"So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.” - A.J. Reb Materi

”The first wealth is health.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

But there won't always be time. When a heart attack, a chronic disease, or a loss of physical capacity reminds us of our mortality, our priorities will change. Gaining more influence and wealth will be toppled from their lofty rankings. If we choose wealth over health, we may end up spending our wealth trying to regain our health. It would be a lot easier and wiser to change our routines now, while there is still time.

What about today? Why not walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator?

Something to share ….

“恭喜發財GONG XI FA CAI!” That’s what the Chinese greet one another when they meet on the 1st day of Lunar New Year. They wish their friends, relatives, colleagues and business associates a prosperous new year to get richer and gather more wealth. I prefer to greet everyone “恭喜健康 GONG XI JIAN KANG” to wish them good health and stay healthy.

A Chinese saying puts it very clearly,” 健康才是財富 Health is wealth. 無病才是幸福 No sickness is happiness.” But most Chinese ask for wealth from 財神爺 God of Fortune, not for health!

To stay healthy, we have to take the doctor’s advice:

Have regular exercise. Walk instead of ride. Cycle instead of drive.
(For planters, we are paid to walk the fields. How nice!)

Drink 8 glasses of pure water instead of 8 cans of soft drinks.
(Most planters drink more than 8 glasses of water a day, since we sweat a lot while walking in the fields.)

Have adequate sleep of 8 hours for proper rest after a hard day’s work.
(Most planters used to go to bed earlier and wake up early in the following morning to conduct the muster call.)

Eat 5-7 portions of green vegetables and fruits a day. Go for white meats such as fishes and chicken rather than red meats such as beef, mutton and pork.
(Growing own organic vegetables and fruits such as papaya, bananas, pineapples, guava, star fruit, avocado, etc using bunch ash, empty bunches and biosolids and rearing kampong chicken are good hobbies for planters. For planters who like fishing, there are plentiful of fresh water fishes in ponds, drains, streams and rivers.)

Don’t try to save some money on your health! Have regular medical checkups. Prevention is better than cure.

WORDS

Emily and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."

On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."

Emily answered,” You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

When we always forget mutual respect and courtesy, we may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. Frequently exchanging teasing remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

Something to share…

Words can heal and words can hurt. Using the right words improves good relationship. On the other hand, using the wrong words hurts the other person’s feeling and as a result the relationship sours. It becomes worst if the other person is having a “kiasu” attitude. When he or she does not want to be teased, it is a natural response that he or she will give it back to you, very badly.

A Chinese saying puts it this way, “病從口入, 楇從口出 Sickness enters into our mouths, and trouble comes out from our mouths.” When we have eaten unclean foods, we fall sick and may get food poisoning. When we have spoken unclean words, we get into big troubles.

If we speak bad words that hurt, obviously these words of lies, gossip, rumor and carry tales will damage our relationship with other people. On the other hands, if we speak good words that heal, surely these words of encouragement and motivation will improve our relationship with other people.

When married couples always speak words of care and concern, words of understanding and appreciation, words of kindness and love, they will eventually enjoy more and more of their companionship and live on much happier together.

How true it is that “a good word makes it glad” as written in Proverbs 12:25 and ”pleasant words are like a honeycomb; sweetness to the soul and health to the bones” in Proverbs 16:24.

BE FIRM ON YOUR ACTION!

A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented,” Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey?” Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.

Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old lady.

She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.

You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

Something to share….

“Do right and fear no man.” That’s what my xifu, Mr. Tony Chew, had taught me. Since then, I had shared this with many planters who had worked with me and under my guidance. Doing right is that you know your conscience is clear as you are well guided by honesty and integrity. Thus, you do not fear your boss! You have established a strong bond of TRUST between you and your boss.

On management aspect, as long as we know what we are doing is on the right track, then we do not need to bother of what others had said and commented even if they might be out of good intention. Don’t be indecisive! If you can’t make up your mind and keep changing the way you are doing while listening to wrong advice, then you will loss your directions and end up doing wrong things.

Just like you are playing a game of chess, those onlookers who stand behind you are fond of making comments to influence your next move. Don’t listen to them and don’t get distracted. Just focus and concentrate on the game in order to study and analyze your opponent’s last move. Then you know that the next move you make is a right move. When it’s game over, you are pretty sure that you have just won the game!

TRUST

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.

She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence.

She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer.

When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

Something to share ...

In plantation management, the manager is entrusted to spend in millions Ringgit Malaysia or miliars Rupiah Indonesia once the annual budget has been finalized and approved. Thus, the trust in him to spend wisely and honestly is the main concern of the boss. He will put “eyes and ears” all over the places to cross-check and monitor just to make sure that the manager he engaged is a trusted person of honesty and integrity. Any bosses, for that matter, do not want his managers to cheat, to take bribe from contractors and to accept commission from suppliers.

However, some bosses are very light-eared. They will believe whatever information they received. It’s a pity that in some cases, the TRUST has been destroyed by gossips, rumors, hearsays, carry tales, lies, and cock-and-bull stories about the managers. There is a Chinese saying, “用人不疑, 疑人不用 When engage people do not suspect him. If there is suspicion do not engage him.”

A person of honesty knows that when integrity is lost, all is lost! He is aware of doing right and fears no man but fears God. In other words, a person who fears God will have to do right and do no wrongs according to God’s will, thus he needs not fear his boss as long as he is honest with integrity. After all, integrity and respect come to those who can do good jobs!

I'm the BOSS!

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

Something to share:

This joke reminds me of what my colleague, SS, once told us,”Hey! Is our company ruled by the BRA?” Well, well, well, I am sure there are such instances that you might have come across whereby some wives do show their “bossiness” in workplace or office of their husbands for reasons best known to them.

It has been well said that “behind a successful man, it’s his woman”. Sorry ladies, it’s behind, not in front!

In the Bible as written in Colossians 4:18 & Ephesians 5:25, God says,” Wives, submit to your own husbands as is fitting in the Lord.” &”For the husband is head of the wife.” But God also says in Colossians 4:19,”Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.”

To all husbands, this is what I want to share,” Love your wives as much as they love you.” And, of course, to all wives, “Respect your husbands as much as you are respected.”

Planters are always grateful to their wives for their understanding and supportive attitude towards their so called “occupational hazard” working environment in remote plantations. When their children reach schooling age, most planters move their families to nearby towns and become weekend husbands and fathers.

I remember that my previous company when giving out long service rewards to its executive staff during the annual dinner, my ex-boss had been very generous to give “special reward” to the wives as a token of appreciation. The wise old man knew that without the support of the wives, his long serving executives wouldn’t have stay on for 10, 20 or even 30 years with the company!