Aging Beautifully & Gracefully

Talking of aging beautifully and gracefully, I would like to share an article (written by Lydia K Kristanto) which was emailed to me by Albert Teh, a true brother in Christ. The message is clear, “old age without God can produce bitterness, loneliness, and hopelessness.” God provides us joy, strength, hope, and comfort.

In Psalms 92: 12a, 13a & 14, it was written,” The righteous will flourish like palm trees. They are like trees planted in the house of the LORD, that still bear fruit in old age, and are always green and strong.” In Proverbs 16:31, it was written,” Long life is the reward of the righteous; grey hair is a glorious crown.”

How true it is that “aging is a basis for hope (not a reason for despair), a gradual maturing (not a slow decaying), and a chance to be embraced (not a fate to be undergone).”

AGING BEAUTIFULLY: A Homemaker’s Reflection

These days I keep on wondering whether my body parts are breaking down. When I walk, I could hear my knee joints creaking. My right hand loses the strength to carry a pail of water. The fingers do not seem to obey instructions anymore. They get locked at their pleasure, any time and any place. It throws me into panic especially while I am driving. Suddenly I can’t move the steering wheel without much pain. But the most frightening part is losing the power to remember. It translates to leaving the front door unlocked the whole night, forgetting to switch off the gas stove, the table fan, and taking medicines on time. Names and words come to mind as trickles of water during rationing. Recently I can’t even remember my own cell phone number. Slowly but steadily, I have to admit that aging at last has set in. That brings to mind the slogan which is used to comfort the middle-aged: The best is yet to come. What a mockery!

The Reality of Aging

The process of aging begins when one is born. But different terms are used to describe the manners of growth. A baby is developing into a child, a child is growing into a teenager, and a teenager is maturing into an adult. But when one hits mid-life, the evolution is called aging.

The Preacher painted a chilling picture in Ecclesiastes 12 of what it means to grow old.

The light of the sun and moon and stars is dim to your old eyes, and there is no silver lining left among the clouds. Your limbs will tremble with age, and your strong legs will grow weak. Your teeth will be too few to do their work, and you will be blind, too. And when your teeth are gone, keep your lips tightly closed when you eat! Even the chirping of birds will wake you up. But you yourself will be deaf and tuneless, with a quavering voice. You will be afraid of heights and of falling, white-haired, and withered, dragging along without any sexual desire. You will be standing at death’s door. (NLT)

Then I stumbled into a more frightening picture as I read Henri J.M. Nouwen and Walter J. Gaffney’s book on ‘Aging: The Fulfilment of Life’. I was struck at their usage of Isaiah 53. 2-4 to describe the plight of marginalised aged people.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
He was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Now and then, our newspapers display the pictures of centenarians celebrating their birthdays accompanied by institutional care givers. Most often, they are females. I must admit that the scenes do not give me an incentive to live so long. Staring at my eyes are faces of loneliness, life-weary gazes and end results of rejection. I commented to my husband, “If I have to be that old, I want to be mobile and look as good as I am today.” I realise it is everybody’s impossible dream.

Behind the toothless smile, the deep-set eyes framed by the hollowed cheeks speak volumes of sad events. The faraway haunting look mourns the loss of loved ones, the loss of one’s faculties, and the loss of dreams and everything familiar. At the same time, the dim eyes see the impending perils and uncertainties which will descend on the present generation. But they would not hear of it.

Age-defying Culture

Two years ago, I went for a photo-shot with my eighteen-year old daughter. “Seventeen,” a magazine for teenagers wanted our picture together besides the short word of appreciation which my daughter wrote for Mother’s Day. After the photo session was over, the young lady in-charge asked me some data about myself. When I told her that I was 61, she almost fell off her chair. As she looked at me in disbelief, I offered to show my IC. That incident made my day.

Why did I feel so good? Was it the fact that for one moment in time I won the age-defying game? The quest for eternal youth has been as old as human civilisation. The pursuit of physical perfection is relentless. Almost daily, we are bombarded with new health and beauty products which feed our vanity. The surgeon’s scalpels will be able to give us our dream face and body. Pharmaceutical companies compete to deliver better and safer Viagra-type of products for both men and women.

On September 21, 2005, the Malay Mail printed an article on “The Ugly Side of Beauty” by Paul Bracchi. He mentioned the usage of skin from executed Chinese criminal being used in ‘lip and anti-wrinkle’ products. If you covet thick and luxuriant hair, it is available in fashionable London for RM4, 000.00 This ‘Virgin Russian hair’ is obtained from children in Siberia for RM9.50, as they need money for food. Women who seek abortion and are willing to wait until the foetus is five-month old will receive payment. The nutrient-rich umbilical cords and placentas of aborted foetuses become vital ingredients to promote regeneration and repair.

How far does our present age-defying culture go? The latest mention in the news is the vocal cords-lift. What’s the use of having the looks of a person half your age, when your voice is croaking and quavering?

Aging with Enthusiasm

At present Malaysia has about 1.1 million people aged 60 years and above. The reality of aging can be very painful when one’s resources are very limited. Only a fraction can afford the luxury of age-defying offerings. But the Bible provides the best remedies to age beautifully.

The Preacher in Ecclesiastes has a word for caution for younger people. “Do not let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honour him in your youth before you grow old and no longer enjoy living.” (12.1) His words contain the truth that old age without God can produce bitterness, loneliness, and hopelessness.

Simeon was an old man who lived in Jerusalem. He was righteous and devout. It means God was his joy, his strength, his hope and his comfort. As his body weakened, his spirit grew stronger. He believed he would not die until his eyes saw the Saviour of the world. God had made that promise to him. With enthusiasm, he looked forward to the day when God’s words became a reality. Faithfully he lived year by year honouring and worshipping God. On the very day when Mary and Joseph presented baby Jesus in the Temple, Simeon was there. He took the baby in his arms and sang his song of thanksgiving and praise.

Going through old age with zest is hard unless God helps us. One of the fears in my life is to be cynical in old age. It will lead to suspicions and withdrawal from the community. Let the world sink if need be, I could not care less. But then God calls his children, young and old, to be his salt and light. I have no option to be anything less. If the Lord is my everlasting light, I have to radiate his light with my life. Each new day becomes like a gift parcel. With eager fingers I unwrap it and wonder, “What is inside?”

Aging with Grace

On the day when baby Jesus was presented in the Temple, Anna, a prophetess was also there to witness the wonderful grace of God. She was eighty-four years old. Her husband died when they had been married only seven years. She never left the Temple but stayed there day and night, worshipping God with fasting and prayer. When she saw the baby, she began to praise God. After that, she spoke about Jesus to all who had been waiting for the arrival of the promised King.

Anna is a picture of a person receiving and giving grace. At a relatively young age, she became a widow. Living without the head of the family is a harsh reality. The Old Testament records that God has special care for widows. He makes special provision for them in the Book of the Law. No one is to oppress them or take advantage of their helplessness. He is their defender and protector.

Being a recipient of God’s grace, Anna dispensed grace to those who came to the Temple. We could almost imagine her, moving among the worshippers comforting and strengthening them with God’s word and her gentle touch.

Instead of being sad and bitter, Anna becomes God’s tool of blessing. Our younger generation needs to value the older people in their community. They are the bridge linking the past and the future. Their rich experiences and wisdom will be forever lost if there is no willing listeners.

Aging with Dignity

The last chapter of Deuteronomy recorded that “Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.” For the past two weeks before that, he was addressing the second generation of Israelites as they prepared to enter the Promised Land. This was the group of people who had never seen the display of God’s glory in Mt. Sinai nor heard his voice. To make it easier to remember the laws and regulations on how to live as God’s people among idolatrous nations, Moses compressed them into a song.

What makes Moses alert to the end? Being a shepherd for forty years? A forty-year walk in the wilderness? Listening to God for instructions? Teaching and minding the wayward and stubborn people?

It’s all of them. The physical hardship shaped his strength and stamina. The time spent with God strengthened and enabled Him to lead His difficult people. Moses began his ministry by asking the Lord to send someone else to do the job. He ended as the prophet whom the Lord knew face to face.

With God’s help, I echo the belief of the authors of ‘Aging: The Fulfillment of Life’ that “aging is not a reason for despair but a basis for hope, not a slow decaying but a gradual maturing, not a fate to be undergone but a chance to be embraced.”

Is the best yet to come? Yes!

About the author (Lydia K Kristato):

She is savouring her golden years pottering around the house she shares with her husband and daughter. It includes cooking up tales on her computer screen and preparing messages.